Introduction to trading jokes
Welcome to this website! Today we delve into the fancy world of trading, specifically the not-so-serious aspect; trading jokes!
Trading in this context refers to the Forex markets where traders buy and sell stocks and shares, buying and selling of currencies which in general can be referred to as the money market. The concept that drives trading is that of demand and supply.
As you can see, this is a very serious and uptight kind of environment, but it need not be. An intuitive person once said work with no play makes Jack a very dull boy. There are very many challenges traders face on a daily basis. As such, there is a need for comical relief within their trade hence the many trading jokes for traders to enjoy their jobs.
Different trading platforms
In order for a layperson to participate in trading, they must understand the basic trading fundamentals, such as the platforms available to them. This is online and offline trading, and you must approach a broker to transact on your behalf.
In the recent past, many people have migrated to online trading for its many benefits in comparison to traditional trading, one benefit being the higher profits they gain from it. Traditional trading is done entirely through a broker, and you as the client have no direct access to information that would give you trading advantages.
All in all, a wise person will compare the platforms to see what benefits them most. Some of the most famous traditional markets include Wall Street and the Tokyo stock exchange, while online markets are numerous with the introduction of cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin.
At first, when cryptocurrencies were introduced, many traditional traders added them to their trading jokes, unaware of the upward growth curve that would follow, making it a worldwide highly valued financial instrument. Many more cryptocurrencies have since come up and turned the history of trading jokes upside down!
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Categories of trading jokes
Trading jokes will most times come up out of the most painful trades and help to pacify the brain to hang on till seasons of more successful ones. Here are a few such.
A stockbroker walked into his office early in the morning looking haggard after a bad trading night. His secretary greeted him with a coffee at hand. “Why, I slept like a baby. Awake every hour and screaming my lungs out!”
The fellows on Wall Street made fun of online traders till the pandemic hit, and they had to go home. Now all they can do is insider trading!
A bartender asks two stockbrokers the secret to making a small fortune. “Invest a huge fortune first!”
Q. Why were stock analysts created?
A. To make weather forecasters look good, of course!
Other trading jokes are meant to ridicule and shame a person or simply told out of scorn since most brokers are known to keep hyping their customers only to have the tides plummet over and over.
At a bar, a bitcoin trader asks the bartender to pour him a gin and hands him a bitcoin to settle his tab. “Tomorrow, you will be cashing in a million bucks for it,” he chimed. The bartender gleefully pours him a tall glass of water and adds that the water would also turn into gin by the same time the following day!.
Q. What amount of money do brokers consider to be a lot?
A. Just a little more!
Q. How can one find a small-cup manager?
A. Just find a large-cup manager, then wait!
Q. The liquor dealer was arrested yesterday.
A. He was in-cider trading!
The disappointed investor sat on the barstool looking forlorn. We figured at the stock market when it wanes, it really poors!
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Light, heartfelt trading jokes
Other trading jokes are simply heartfelt light moments around the profession and may not necessarily be told by the traders themselves.
Q. Why did you stop investing in penny stocks?
A. I have realized I was only making cents!
Q. My friend just recently started investing in stocks.
He bought beef stock, chicken stock, and vegetable stock.
He is hoping to be a bouillonaire soon!
Q. Where can you buy beef broth in bulk?
A. The stock market!
Q. What kind of alligator can you find at the stock market?
A. An investi-gator!
Q. What would be the name of a stock exchange in the Game of Thrones!
Two blondes are watching the stocks report after their broker had tried to interest them in the stock markets. One of them, being sincerely lost, asked the other what it is like to select a stock and invest in it. The friend tried to break it down. “imagine rearing layers so that they can give you chicks and their chicks give you even more chicks. By now, you have your ban full of hens and chicks, and you are very excited at the prospects ahead. Then at night, lightning strikes and kills all the chickens. In disgust, you think to yourself, “ I should have kept geese!”
A Wall Street reporter has just come on to report on the current state of affairs. “The toilet paper is down, paper, stationery, and diapers remain unchanged,” he reported.
Uber technologies have lost a couple of billions over the last eight months. They have requested all their drivers to search for it in between their seats!
Q. What do you call a group of stock markets traders gathered at a central place?
A. An investation!
The stock market seems to be thinning out over time.
It has lost several pounds!
The Chinese stock market is plummeting real fast. We really should have identified the red flags everywhere!
Q. What did the Asian broker say as he was dressing up for work?
A. I go in- vest now!
Q. What is the difference between a hummingbird and a stockbroker?
A. The hummingbird can make a deposit on a BMW.
Q. Which financial instruments are dinosaurs best suited to trade with?
A. T bills!
Q. What is the similarity between an ice cream seller and a Wall Street trader?
A. None. The ice-cream seller is also a ‘Walls Treat trader!’
Q. How many stockbrokers are needed to change a light bulb successfully?
A. Two. One to take it out and the other to sell before it falls down and crashes!
I asked my dad what bulls and bears eat, especially during the dry season.
Money son, money!
I have been advised against putting all my money in see-saw stocks. They will have too many ups and downs, they said.
Online trading is great. I now get to watch my investments plummet all at once!
There has been an ongoing investigation as to why the European stocks have been sliding down.
They found that Greece caused it!
How can you differentiate between a casino and the stocks markets? Unlike the stocks market, they comp you at the casino right after they take all your money.
My elder brother insisted that I invest in some stocks. So I went to the local mini-mart and bought chicken broth, beef stock, and vegetable stock!
The stock market today was down by 25%. There have been fewer cases of the flu lately!
Investors were wiped clean today at the stocks exchange when tissues touched a new bottom!
Apparently, people in trailer parks hardly invest in stocks. Their money is tied in bonds!
A stockbroker fell ill on the trading floor and was rushed to the hospital semi-conscious. At triage, the nurse took his vitals, loudly stated that his temperature was at 110. “Sell when it hits 111!” said the stockbroker!
Optimism is a stockbroker preparing his outfits for the week in glee as he looks forward to the week!
The stock exchange is the only floor where two guys with opposite sides of information show up. One buys while the other sells, and they both go home thinking they made the best deal of the day!
A stockbroker and a church minister died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates, they were both awarded similar silk robes and staff. Baffled at this, the minister inquired why this was so. “While you preached, your congregants slept. He told trading jokes to his clients; still, they prayed and fasted day and night”, replied St. Peter.
I thought to make trading jokes about the stocks markets, but I have decided against bursting your bubble!
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Conclusion on trading jokes
The beauty about trading jokes is that they will always yield some ever-increasing laughter, unlike the stocks traded at the stocks exchange, which tend to be quite erratic. At the end of the trading day, regardless of the outcome, the trading jokes make for a good reason, especially for floor traders to get back on the job and investors to keep hoping for a great payday. This is the end. We hope you have enjoyed our article on trading jokes.
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