Best told Prison Jokes ever 2022

Introduction to Prison jokes

Prison jokes have been told over the year across the world. One of the best and the world’s favorite jokes and puns have emerged from the walls of prisons. The general nature of prison allows the institution to be one of the best sources of the world’s most hilarious jokes.

Why do we tell prison jokes?

Ultimately being in prison is not a joke, and nobody would wish to be in prison, but if caught on the wrong side of the law, prison is inevitable for you. Prison jokes are told to keep prisoners moving and make their stay in prison fun, not all punishment, period.

Most prisoners spend their leisure time telling each other prison jokes, and it’s magical what this does to them. They really can’t tell how time flies that eventually ends their sentence. Prison jokes also allow prisoners to be free with each other, and the jokes also connect the prisoners to be good friends, and they can live together.

A variety of prison jokes have been told over the years, and more jokes continue to emerge from the walls of prisons day by day, making life in prison hilarious. Most prison jokes revolve in prison and are general jokes mostly involving prisoners’ life in prison and outside the prison walls. Others revolve between prisoners and correctional officers too.

Prison being a corrective institution, communication is essential to all parties involved in this institution. Practical jokes, gag gifts, memes, mimicry, and smart remarks facilitate good communication, and prison jokes make the parties talk about taboo topics such as sex, race, and death openly.

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Different prison jokes

Here are some of the hilarious one-liner prison jokes in the form of questions;

Q. Imagine you are a prisoner in a cell. How would you escape?

A. By not imagining.

Q. Why can’t prisoners get laid?

A. Because they are in cells.

Q. Why do prisoners prefer liquid soap?

A. Because liquid soap takes longer to pick.

Q. Why did the prisoner type in all uppercase?

A.  Because they were sentenced to capital punishment.

Q. How much cocaine can a smuggler sneak into prison?

A. a buttload.

Q. Why are prisoners not allowed to have emails?

A. Because we don’t want to risk someone attaching a file.

Q. What techniques do prisoners use when coloring a picture?

A. Cell shading.

Q. Why is a white guy the scariest guy in prison?

A. Because you know he is guilty.

Q. Why did prisoners at the AT&T jail escape?

A. Because they had no bars on their cells.

Q. Why do women’s prisons give tampons on release day?

A. Because all sentences should end with a period.

Q. What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs?

A. A condescending.

Q. What did the executioner say to the prisoner?

 A.  Hung on a minute.

Q. Why can’t an inmate read a clock?

A. Because it is a hard time.

Q. How do prisoners call each other?

A. On their cell phones

Q. What do prisoners and sinking ships have in common?

A. They both need bailing out.

Q. What would a cold prisoner do when a female prison guard came to his cell?

A. shiver.

Q. What did the prison guard say to the new prisoner?

A. Come in-mate.

Q. What is the difference between Amazon and prison?

A. In prison, one can sit down.

Q. Why did the picture go to jail?

A. Because it was framed.

Q. What is an inmate’s favorite fishing equipment?

A. Jail bait.

Q. Why did the credit card go to jail?

A. it was guilty as charged.

Q. What do you call a famous inmate?

A. A celebrity.

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One-liner prison jokes in the form of statements.

  • I hear prisoners in jail get drunk a lot; they hang around bars 24/7.
  • My friend who shutters was sentenced to 6 months in prison two years ago, but he still hasn’t finished his sentence.
  • Two women who shared a cell for 15 years were finally released, but they spent two hours talking.
  • I got a prison tattoo of a mitochondrion, and now I am truly a powerhouse of cells.
  • After my wife died, I haven’t looked at any other woman for ten years, but now that I am out of prison, I would say it was completely worth it.
  • A man was just released from prison and was walking down the street shouting; I am Free, a little boy shouted back at him and said, “that is nothing, am Four.”
  • One of the most horrifying phrases to hear in a Mexican prison is “Jesus loves you.” But it sounds sweet when you hear it in church.
  • Prison may be one word, but to prisoners, it’s a whole sentence.
  • Have you heard of a prisoner who tried to go out drinking last night? He walked into a bar.
  • What is brown and back and looks good on an escaped prisoner, a German shepherd.

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Other prison jokes would take the form of conversation; here are some funny prison conversations.

A prisoner is caught escaping, and he goes begging the guard, “please forgive me you caught me trying to escape,” the guard tells him, “Am not mad, am just disappointed even kids know you shouldn’t disappoint a guard.”

Guard: I’m not mad; I am just disappointed. Remember, kids, never let guards down.

A prisoner is about to be executed, and the guard asks him, what do you want as your last meal?

Prisoner: strawberries.

Guard: But it’s winter. We can’t get strawberries until spring.

Prisoner: ooh yes, I will wait.

A woman visited her husband in jail, and before leaving, she turned to the prison guard and said: “You shouldn’t make my husband work like that; he is exhausted.”

The correctional officer laughs loudly, saying:

“Are you kidding me? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell the whole day and night.”

“Bullshit, but he just told me he has been digging tunnels for months.”

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Some prison jokes are well-phrased in the form of a story; here are a few funny stories.

On my first day in prison, my cellmate turned to me and said, “Listen to me carefully if you ever look at me or touch me while I am sleeping, I will skin you arrive,” and I looked around the cell and Shouted, “congratulation to me day one and am already married.”

Three prisoners are to be executed by a firing squad; the first one thinking of a way to escape, shouted “EARTHQUAKE,” which caused everyone to pain and allowed the prisoner to escape. Seeing what the first one did, the second prisoner shouted “TORNADO,” which caused everyone to panic again and allowed him to escape. The third prisoner, knowing what the others did, frantically shouted “FIRE.”

Recently I drove by prison and saw a midget prisoner climbing down the wall. As he jumped down, he sneered at me, and I thought, well, that was a little condescending.

Two prisoners were waiting to be executed. The prison guard asked, “any last requests?” “Yes,” one of the prisoners repaired, “I love music, so before I die could you play ‘Never gonna give up’ by Rick Astley.” The second prisoner said: “kill me first.”

Conclusion on prison jokes.

Prison jokes meltdown the solid seriousness associated with the institution, and the jokes and puns ease communication among all prison parties involved.

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